More than you know, p.8
More Than You Know, page 8
Shuell and Rietta hesitated, openly showing their displeasure with each other, but they waddled into my arms. Thanks to my small stature, it was basically like they were hugging each other. As soon as their hands touched, they frowned.
“Go away.”
“You go away.”
And you were doing so well, little weasels.
It hadn’t been a full ten minutes since they promised not to fight.
“If you fight again, I won’t hug you.”
The children both clenched their mouths shut with a gasp. I could feel their hands fumbling behind my back until they finally held each other’s.
“We’re not fighting. We’re close. Right, Rita?”
“Yeah, Shu.”
Their hands wiggled as if they wanted to let go immediately, making it hard to believe them, but I wouldn’t let this chance go to waste.
“You have to get along from now on. All right?”
The children nodded at the same time. As always, they were so quick to answer. The sunlight was harsh, so we sat on a mat underneath a tree. I had Shuell and Rietta on either side, so it took me a while to settle down comfortably. It was summer, but the shade felt nice and cool. The children in my arms were warm, and I had spent a lot of energy trying to console both crying kids. That was true for them too, and soon they began to doze off.
Their bodies slowly slid down, and when their heads touched, they frowned in their sleep. How funny. I let them rest their heads on my legs. I wanted to stroke their hair, but I also dozed off. So, the three of us took a nap. The birds sang, and there was a gentle breeze. It was a peaceful day.
“Wen, what are we doing today?” was the first thing the children asked as they massaged my legs, now numb from having supported their heads throughout our entire nap.
Shuell had been the only child in the mansion, so he had mostly spent his free time reading or playing with toys, expending his excess energy through training. However, once Rietta and I arrived here, Kendrick and Marias dumped us out in the gardens, telling us to play outside. So now we needed something to do outdoors. Thanks to the memories of my previous life, I was in charge of that.
“Let’s play hide and seek.”
“Hide and seek?” Shuell asked, and Rietta looked at me with an adorable glimmer in her silvery eyes.
The children were angelic when they were not crying and throwing fits. It was a rare sight. Satisfied, I stroked their hair and explained.
“One person is it, and the other two have to hide. We choose a time limit, and if whoever is it finds the others within that time, they win. If not, then the people hiding win.”
“Okay!”
“Let’s play.”
The children never refused, and they were brimming with energy from lunch. I realized at that moment that I would be stuck playing hide and seek for the next three hours at least.
“As for the rules . . . we’ll search for thirty minutes. We have thirty seconds to hide, and once we’re hidden, we can’t move from that spot. For the location, we’ll keep it to the gardens and the first floor of the house. And no hiding in closets.”
That last rule was solely for my benefit. Closets that stored winter clothes smelled terribly of mothballs, and thanks to Jeffery, I couldn’t stand that smell. Still, closets made for ideal hiding spots, so I hoped the children would not object. Thankfully, they nodded without a fuss.
We played rock, paper, scissors, and I ended up being it. I hung pocket watches on their wrists, and they happily ran off. It was a lovely thing to see them running together as if they hadn’t spent the early afternoon fighting. They would become lovers, those two, though I didn’t know when they’d fall in love.
Maybe they would keep fighting and crying like they did today. Surely, though, they would like each other very much. Maybe they would end up marrying. That concerned me a little. Rietta would have a hard time because of her peasant background.
It would have been slightly better if she had been adopted into the Schreider family, as in the novel, but it was too late now. Her work as a duchess would be difficult. That was true for Shuell as well, so it’d be nice if I could help them. If only I could stay with them until then . . .
Huh?
My thoughts stopped me from moving. The corners of my lips fell as if to confirm that I had indeed been smiling. It used to be hard to imagine a future where I wasn’t unhappy. Even if I somehow escaped from the Broschtes, I always thought I would somehow be dragged right back and sold off or starved in the streets as a peasant. Still, just now, I had naturally . . .
I was no longer afraid of someone coming into my room. I no longer needed to fill my stomach with crumbs despite the feast in front of my eyes, and I didn’t need to attend classes when I felt sick and ached to my bones. When I closed my eyes, the sunlight was warm. The crystalline, pure laughter resounding in the halls was pleasant to the ears.
There was someone to read me bedtime stories and smile at me even when I was late for breakfast. It was all so unfamiliar and strange but also so nice that I wanted to cry. I’d become accustomed to my terrible life because it wasn’t much different from my previous one, but that didn’t make it normal. When given a choice between light and dark, the answer was obvious.
I didn’t want to leave.
I lowered my head and held my hands to my face. I evened out my breathing to stop myself from crying. I knew shallow compassion never lasted. I wasn’t a child of this house, nor the beloved heroine. I would have to leave, sooner or later. Tears were about to fall, but this wasn’t the choking, drowning kind of sorrow, so I swallowed them back. I raised my head and clenched my fists.
“I’m fine!”
I’d never been the type to take the obvious route. Where there was a will, there was a way. This was a huge mansion, so surely there was room enough for me. If the duke and duchess ever started to question my value in this place, I would just need to convince them that letting me stay was the best option. I’d been proving my worth time and time again.
Their readiness to trust me made me anxious. Still, out of all the people I had met, those of the Severilous household were by far the kindest. Of course, it might all be an act. The children might distance themselves from me as they grew up, and the duke and duchess might lose their sympathy toward me.
However, nothing had ever come from me choosing the safe option. It wouldn’t hurt to leave it to chance. I knew in my heart that it was crazy and reckless, but strangely enough, it didn’t feel bad. The sunlight shone on me as I counted to thirty, and I began to laugh. Here, in this place, it was easier to breathe. Fresh air filled my lungs to the brim, and I could feel it down to my abdomen.
Ah, that’s better.
I began searching for the children well after the thirty seconds had passed. Children’s hiding spots were all the same. They would sometimes hide behind curtains, unaware that their feet peeked through. I’d just have to ignore whatever giggles I’d end up hearing from under tea tables or behind pillars.
Still, what if I ended up finding them too quickly?
“Wow, Wen! How did you find me? I thought I hid well!”
“I knew you’d be quick to find us!”
I could almost hear their voices in my head. Shuell and Rietta put me on a pedestal because I was relatively more knowledgeable than they were. This time would be just the same. My lips had already curled into a smile, and I had to force them back down as I glanced around.
Well, I mean. Compliments are nice. And the kids are adorable. Hmm . . . I’m too old for this.
My cheeks flared, and I had to fan my face with my hand as I walked on. Where could they be? Not in a closet. That was against the rules. We had played in the gardens plenty enough, so they wouldn’t go back there. Behind the curtains, then. Or behind an open door? I leisurely looked at these places, but the children weren’t there. How unexpected. However, it was a pretty big mansion, so I guess it made sense.
I looked in places that were harder to think of. Behind the main stairwell, or between the sheets the maids had washed and hung to dry. Still, the children weren’t there, and I was running out of time.
Where were they?
With ten minutes left, I abandoned all thoughts of letting them off easily and began investigating every nook and cranny of the first floor and the gardens. There was no trace of them. Considering their personalities, they wouldn’t dream of breaking the rules. They were just really good at hiding.
The pocket watch in my hand kept ticking. Only five minutes remained, and I hadn’t seen a single hair of either child. I had underestimated them and now was paying the price.
Chapter Fifteen
Now that I thought about it, the two of them had to have been skilled at hiding. Rietta grew up in an orphanage under a violent supervisor. It was only logical that she would know exactly where to hide if she wanted to disappear. And Shuell . . .
“The maids clean under the sofa more often than you’d think. It may be a little gross, but hide under the table instead. It’s very big and dark, so you won’t be seen easily. If you’re ever being chased, hide somewhere clean instead of somewhere dusty, and stay hidden until you can run away.”
I had taught him back at the Broschte house how to hide in case he was discovered hiding in my room. In great detail. I’d dug my own grave, and there was no way out.
I squatted down, resting my aching legs and exhaling heavily, then stood up again. I didn’t have much time left, but I had looked almost everywhere, so there were only a few spots left to check. The children would surely come running if I gave up, but I didn’t want to do that. I had my pride as the eldest. Still, just as I was about to leave the gardens and enter the walkway, everything went dark.
Rumble.
The clear blue sky had turned a murky brown. Moments later, the rain came pouring down so thickly that I could hardly see the gardens anymore. It seemed to be just a passing shower, but it was pouring so hard that children could easily be swept away. The back garden wasn’t that large, and there weren’t any big trees, so there was no danger of getting lost.
I had searched every corner of the gardens, so I knew the children weren’t there. Still, I couldn’t quell my apprehension. It was hot, and the added humidity made the air feel like a steamer. Sweat coated my arms and legs, but because it wasn’t evaporating, I felt clammy and gross. I frowned. Something felt off.
It was merely a passing shower. I was sure it would stop soon. However, I was so anxious that it felt like someone was pulling at the back of my head. I knew it was a strange thing to feel. It had been such a perfect day, and this was only a rain shower. Still, then, I heard footsteps. They were wet, as if the person had just stepped out of the rain, and rushed, and the noise echoing over the walkway sounded unfamiliar.
The footsteps were too heavy to be either Shuell or Rietta and too light to be Kendrick or Marias. It wasn’t the maids or the other servants either. I knew this, but something triggered my memory. I knew those footsteps.
“Arwen!”
A chill ran down my spine. It felt like my hair would be yanked back at any moment now.
Rumble, crash!
A bolt of lightning revealed shadows around me. Shadows of different sizes, swaying before my eyes like monsters. I slowly turned my head. Just seconds before, the world had been a riot of color. However, now it was black and white. At its center, a brown-haired woman stood, smiling from ear to ear. My eyes jumped from her to the man next to her, to the boy next to him, and back to the woman.
Tick. Ring. The pocket watch rang out quietly. Playtime was over.
How did they get here? How did they know I was here?
Stupidly, that was the first thought I had. My hands grew cold, and I clenched them into fists. Another bolt of lightning struck, and the viscountess’s face shone in the flash. My vision went dark and then returned as if someone were flicking a light switch. The only expressions I could make out in those fleeting moments were demonic. I was frozen, unable to step back as she reached me in no time.
“My baby!”
I shut my eyes, anticipating the terrifying pain that would soon take over my whole body as I was pulled into an embrace.
“Have you been well? You left without a word. I was so worried.” The viscountess spewed words of concern as she stroked and caressed me. I felt sick to my stomach at her gentle touch, but the viscount gave me an icy look.
I forced my lips to form words, and my voice sounded choked. “Mother.” Chewing on sand would leave a better taste in my mouth. I used to call her Mother easily, but now the word stung like a needle.
The viscountess kept fussing over me, offering words of affection. None of it was believable. There was no way this person searched for me out of pure worry. I turned my head, devoid of all emotions, and saw two people over the viscountess’s shoulder. Black and platinum blond. Marias and Kendrick.
“Oh dear, you are safe!”
Ah, yes. Of course.
“Darling, you startled her.”
“Oh, yes. You’re right. Silly me.”
At the viscount’s gentle words, the viscountess wiped her eyes and stood back up. She offered me her hand, and I stared at it.
“Arwen?” Her gentle voice overlapped with the hysterical one I was so used to. I couldn’t breathe.
It’s inevitable. I must go back after all.
Things hadn’t become worse. They had just returned to normal. I wanted to stay here in the Severilous mansion, but now that the viscount had found me, there was no way for me to do so. I tried to form a smile, but my lips kept dropping. My throat kept closing up. I had to answer, I had to hold her hand, but my body wouldn’t listen. I felt like a ragdoll.
“Yes.” That was the only answer I could give, and it was ambiguous.
“My, so that’s what happened. My daughter is very righteous.” The viscount laughed heartily, and it felt so foreign to me.
I had never seen him laugh like that before. I’d thought he didn’t know how to, but I realized that he had simply never felt the need to. Jeffery and the viscountess seemed normal. They laughed as if that was the only thing they could think of doing.
The viscountess occasionally reached out to stroke my hair, and Jeffery offered me snacks. They both looked as though they loved me very much. They were jolly and merry, but Marias and Kendrick were as cold and unmoving as ice. Marias looked stern and distant, as if to prove that she had only shown me her warm side until now, and Kendrick’s impervious expression was new to me.
The Broschte couple acted like knights who had won a war. They barged into the Severilouses’ sitting room, praising me as the hero who had saved Shuell. Their eyes were brimming with greed. If I could see it, there was no way that the Severilouses couldn’t. What would the Broschtes request?
The viscount desired nothing more than to be acquainted with the capital’s nobles, so he surely wouldn’t be satisfied with any reward money. I was the one who had essentially saved Shuell, so it was only natural that I was allowed to sit with them here. I should’ve been the one to oversee this meeting, but my head kept emptying itself. My thoughts were fleeting, and I tried to keep a coherent thread going.
The Broschtes would want to keep the Severilouses as acquaintances and maintain a steady relationship. Still, my saving Shuell wasn’t enough to guarantee such a liaison. That meant there was only one way for them to secure ties with Severilous—an engagement between Shuell and me.
It wasn’t completely unrealistic that the duke and duchess would agree, given their unrealistically kind personalities. After all, Rietta was staying in the mansion solely because she had revealed Shuell’s location.
However, it could never happen.
An engagement would really be crossing the line. Engagements were nearly binding. One between the heir to a dukedom and a viscount’s daughter would be dishonorable enough, but if the engagement were ever broken off, it would be so much worse.
And now that the duke and duchess had seen the Broschtes, there was no guarantee that their kindness toward me would continue. I’d had no ulterior motive for saving Shuell. He was an abused child, and he had been the only one I could save. I had to tell them I wanted nothing in return. Still, then what would happen to me?
If their plan to shove me into the Severilous family tree failed, the Broschtes would do anything in their power to drag me back home. Everything would go back to how it was, and they would once again try their best to sell me to the highest bidder.
There was no escape.
There was a void under my feet. I had nothing to call mine but somehow felt like I had lost everything. As usual, I had no choice but to surrender. The Severilouses were kind. If I revealed my innocence, they would spare me. So, I would just need to wait until I came of age, and then I’d run away. Yes. That was all I had to do. Even if I left this place, even if they were no longer kind to me, it would all have been worth it if only I could survive.
If only.
A shadow covered my eyes. As I raised my head, I was greeted by silky platinum-blond hair. Kendrick’s familiar smile was gone, and he looked like a demon. I had never seen him so angry. I understood his reaction. The Broschtes were vulgar and arrogant. There was no way he could look upon me, their offspring, with kindness anymore.
Don’t be angry. I’ve done nothing wrong.
I held my words back and clamped my mouth shut. Kendrick stepped toward me. As our eyes met, the anger in his vanished. I thought he would hit me or curse at me, but he didn’t. He knelt on the ground, matching his eye level to mine, as he and Marias had always done, as had all the other staff in the house.
“Wen, come here. Let your uncle get you out of here.”
Chapter Sixteen
