Dave Barry - Free Library Land Online - Self Help

Dave Barry Turns Fifty

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 22:11:08 +0200

From the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist comes a celebration of the aging process. Not just Dave's, but that of the whole Baby Boom Generation--those millions of us who set a standard for whining self-absorption that will never be equaled, and who gave birth to such stunning accomplishments as Saturday Night Live!, the New Age movement, and call waiting. Here Dave pinpoints the glaring signs that you've passed the half-century mark:

- You are suddenly unable to read anything written in letters smaller than Marlon Brando.
- You have accepted the fact that you can't possibly be hip. You don't even know if "hip" is the right word for hip anymore, and you don't care.
- You remember nuclear-attack drills at school wherein you practiced protecting yourself by crouching under your desk, which was apparently made out of some kind of atomic-bomb-proof wood.
- You can't name the secretary of defense, but you can still sing the Mister Clean song.

So pop open a can...

Swamp Story: a Novel

Wed, 23 Aug 2023 15:55:38 +0300

Pulitzer Prize–winning New York Times bestselling author and actual Florida Man Dave Barry returns with a Florida caper full of oddballs and more twists and turns than a snake slithering away from a gator.
Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is, some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.

Meanwhile, Ken Bortle of Bortle Brothers Bait and Beer has hatched a scheme to lure tourists to his failing store by making viral videos of the "Everglades Melon Monster." The Monster is in fact an unemployed alcoholic newspaperman named Phil wearing a Dora the Explorer costume head....

Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs (Backlist eBook Program)

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 09:18:28 +0200

Big Trouble

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 13:49:49 +0200

Boogers Are My Beat

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 09:18:32 +0200

Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up

Fri, 11 Nov 1994 13:49:48 +0200

Pulitzer Prize-winning author Dave Barry’s best-selling books Include: Dave Barry Does Japan, Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up, and Dave Barry Turns 40. Championed by the New York Times as “the funniest man In America,” Barry’s syndicated column for The Miami Herald now reaches over 250 newspapers across the country. Television has even succumbed to his wit—the popular sitcom “Dave’s World” is based on his life and columns.

Dave Barry’s Only Travel Guide You’ll Ever Need

Mon, 11 Nov 1991 13:49:49 +0200

“READ ‘EM AND LAUGH ...” “If there’s one thing you can count on from Dave Barry, it’s extreme humor. Non-stop yuks.”— Dallas News “Dave Barry is the only living writer who makes me laugh out loud, something he accomplished on virtually every page of his latest collection of craziness—from the introduction to the final page.”— The Boston Globe “Have you ever had a vacation where you didn’t lose the car keys or traveler’s checks, get a seat on the plane next to a crying baby or airsick adult or end up divorced without ever going near Nevada? If so, you probably wouldn’t understand what’s so funny about Dave Barry’s Only Travel Guide You’ll Ever Need . The rest of us, however, would.”— Kansas City Star “For good old belly laughs and delightful play with cliches of the language, there’s Dave Barry’s Only Travel Guide You’ll Ever Need .”— The Boston Phoenix Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning syndicated columnist at the Miami Herald. His books include Homes and Other Black Holes, Dave Barry’s Greatest Hits, Dave Barry Slept Here , and Dave Barry Turns 40 , among others.

Best. State. Ever.

Mon, 14 Nov 2016 09:18:32 +0200

A brilliantly funny exploration of the Sunshine State from the man who knows it best: Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times–bestselling author Dave Barry.

We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will.
Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why. Join him as he celebrates Florida from Key West at the bottom to whatever it is that's at the top, from the Sunshine State's earliest history to the fun-fair of weirdness and gunfire ("Our motto: 'Come back! We weren't firing at you!'") that it is...

Dave Barry Slept Here

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 13:49:48 +0200

DAVE Barry was described in The New York Times Book Review as “the funniest man in America,” a claim he has been quick to disavow, except for the plaque on the front door. Nevertheless, the reviewer got there late: The Pulitzer Prize Committee had cited him for commentary earlier in 1988, and he got off with an appropriately light sentence (Even earlier, in 1986, he won the Distinguished Writing Award of the American Association of Newspaper Editors, but what do they know?). Apart from these facts—which, as Mr. Barry occasionally Puts it—we are not making up, the relevant details seem to be that he writes for The Miami Herald and is syndicated in approximately 150 other newspapers, several of which make money despite this. Barry lives with his wife, Beth, and son, Robby, in a Coral Gables, Florida, house surrounded by giant mutant spiders. “Brilliant ... Barry not only changes the face of American history, he practically has to be restrained from taking up hammer and chisel to change the faces on Mount Rushmore as well.”—Associated Press “If you like to have fun with American history, here’s your chance. Dave Barry Slept Here is a zany, delightful twisting of just about everything important in America’s past.”—St. Louis Post Dispatch “A delight from the top of his introduction to the tip of his last outrageous footnote.”—Minneapolis Star Tribune “Impressive ... Genuinely fresh insight ... Dave Barry Slept Here might be the rallying point for reformers determined to restore rigor and bite to the public school curriculum.”—Greensboro News and Record “I wish I would have taken Dave Barry’s history class in high school instead of the one I did. Instead of getting in trouble for writing all over the desk, I would have been excused for an upset stomach from laughing so hard. And I would still be laughing now, years later.”—Grand Rapids Press “All the history you’ll ever need to know.”—Tampa Tribune-Times This Guy Has Also Written Dave Barry Turns 40 Dave Barry’s Greatest Hits Homes and Other Black Holes Bad Habits The Taming of the Screw Stay Fit and Healthy Until You’re Dead Claw Your Way to the Top Dave Barry’s Guide to Marriage and/or Sex Babies and Other Hazards of Sex

Dave Barry Talks Back

Sun, 14 Nov 2010 09:18:30 +0200

Yet another collection of Barry wit and wisdom by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and the author of Dave Barry Turns 40.

How to argue effectively a-3

Mon, 11 Nov 1991 15:49:18 +0200

DAVE BARRY IS NOT TAKING THIS SITTING DOWN

Sat, 11 Nov 2000 15:55:07 +0200

Humor columnist Barry recycles his gripes, exaggerations, and pure fictions from his newspaper column. As a patriotic American, he blends a fine sense of sarcasm and wit in his argumentsemphasizing every American's right of a "Cherished American Way of Life" centered on junk food eating and TV-watching. Riffing off TV commercials with his brushes with famous people or his perplexities about women especially his wife and teenage son, Barry constantly draws inspiration from the people that he meets, making him a popular hit with the audiences.

The Bridge to Never Land

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 09:24:47 +0200

One summer morning while Aidan and Sarah are visiting their grandfather, they discover a secret compartment in his battered wooden desk. Inside is a yellowed envelope that contains a piece of very thin, almost translucent, white paper, on which, handwritten in black ink, are a series of seemingly random lines; among them are what appear to be fragments of letters, but not enough to make sense. At the bottom of the page is a verse about Peter Peter and a reference to a real hotel in London. As it happens, the family is about to embark on a trip to Europe, so the children decide that while in London, they will try to locate the hotel.

Dave Barry's Money Secrets

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 09:18:29 +0200