For Merv ~ D R

  For Spike and Rudy ~ A M

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  1 Dinosaur!

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  2 Chocolate!

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  3 Pet Sitter!

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  Copyright

  CHAPTER 1

  “Whiffer, here boy. HERE!” cried Bertie.

  Whiffer streaked across the park and vanished into the trees. Bertie rolled his eyes. It was always like this. As soon as Whiffer escaped his lead he zoomed off like a hairy torpedo.

  Luckily, Darren and Eugene had come to help.

  “Where’s he gone?” groaned Darren.

  “No idea,” said Bertie. “He’s probably seen a squirrel or something.”

  They found Whiffer under the trees, wagging his tail excitedly. He was scrabbling at something in the dirt.

  Bertie bent down to pick it up. “Look at this!” he cried.

  “What is it? Some sort of bone?” asked Darren.

  Bertie rubbed off some of the dirt. “It’s a tooth,” he said.

  “Pretty large one,” said Eugene. “Maybe it’s a wolf’s fang?”

  Bertie shook his head. “Too big,” he said. “That’s a dinosaur tooth!”

  “No way!” said Darren.

  “How do you know?” asked Eugene.

  “I’ve seen pictures,” said Bertie. “In my Dangerous Book of Dinosaurs.”

  “Miss Boot says dinosaurs are extinct,” said Eugene. “That tooth could be millions of years old.”

  Bertie frowned. “It doesn’t look millions of years old.”

  “It must be,” said Darren. “Unless a dinosaur was round here recently.”

  Bertie looked up. He had always dreamed of seeing an actual dinosaur – a Stegosaurus or maybe a Tyrannosaurus rex.

  “Maybe they’re not all extinct,” he said.

  “What!” Darren frowned. “You mean there’s one living in the park?”

  “I’m not saying there is,” said Bertie. “But if I was a dinosaur, this is exactly the kind of place I’d hide.”

  They looked around uneasily. Suddenly the park didn’t seem such a safe place.

  “Hey, look at this!” cried Eugene. He pointed to some deep scratches on the bark of a tree.

  “A dog could have done that,” said Darren.

  “Yes – or something much bigger,” said Bertie.

  Eugene shivered. “Um … maybe we should get back,” he said.

  “Good idea,” said Darren. “Before it gets dark.”

  Bertie put Whiffer on his lead. As they hurried out of the trees they bumped into Angela Nicely. Bertie groaned.

  Angela lived next door and was always trailing around after him. Only last week she’d turned up at his house asking if he wanted to play.

  “I knew it was you!” she trilled. “What are you doing?”

  “Nothing,” said Bertie, hiding the dinosaur tooth behind his back.

  “I’ve been watching,” said Angela. “You found something.”

  “Only some old ants’ nest,” said Bertie quickly.

  Angela shook her head. “Liar,” she said. “Was it treasure?”

  “No,” said Bertie.

  “I bet it was,” said Angela.

  “It wasn’t,” said Bertie. “Oh look, I think your friends want you.”

  Angela glanced back at the swings where Maisie and Laura were waiting. Bertie took the chance to slip the tooth into his pocket – but Angela saw.

  “What’s that?” she demanded.

  “What?”

  “That, in your pocket. Show me!”

  “It’s nothing,” said Bertie. “Anyway we’ve got to get back.”

  He hurried after Darren and Eugene.

  Angela watched them go. Bertie was definitely hiding something. It was some sort of secret. Well, she would find out – if there was one thing she loved, it was a secret.

  CHAPTER 2

  On Saturday morning, Bertie waited excitedly for Darren and Eugene to arrive. He was determined to prove there really was a dinosaur living in the park. And if there was, he wanted to be the one to catch it. Imagine capturing the last dinosaur on earth! They’d be rich! They’d be famous! He could charge people ten pounds a go to ride on its back!

  They trooped down to the park, carrying spades. Eugene had brought his junior binoculars and Darren had some netting slung over his shoulder.

  “Even if there is a dinosaur,” said Darren, “I don’t see how we’re going to catch it.”

  “By making a trap,” said Bertie. “We’ll dig a hole and cover it over with branches and stuff so no one can see it. When the dinosaur comes along, it’ll fall right in.”

  Eugene looked doubtful. “It’ll need to be a big hole,” he said. “Dinosaurs are massive.”

  “We’ll make it big,” said Bertie. “Really big.”

  They crossed the park and reached the trees where they’d found the tooth.

  Bertie pointed to a muddy clearing. “We’ll dig here,” he said.

  “What if the park keeper comes?” Eugene asked anxiously.

  “He won’t,” said Bertie. “Anyway, he ought to be grateful. If there is a dinosaur, someone should catch it before anyone gets eaten!”

  Eugene looked around nervously. Secretly he hoped the dinosaur didn’t exist. Maybe the tooth was really just a stone?

  They got on with the digging. It took a long time, but at last they’d dug a big hole deep enough to stand in.

  Bertie jumped in to test it. “That’ll do,” he panted, as Darren heaved him out. “Let’s cover it up.”

  They laid branches across the top and covered them with leaves and clods of earth. Bertie stood back to admire their work. No one would ever know the trap was there. And anyway, he was pretty sure that dinosaurs were short sighted.

  “What about sticks?” said Darren. “In case it puts up a fight.”

  They each found a stick then hid in some bushes to wait.

  Ten minutes passed. Eugene scanned the trees with his binoculars. Darren complained his leg had gone to sleep.

  Suddenly Bertie sat up. “Listen!” he hissed. “Something’s coming!”

  They got ready to jump out. Eugene’s heart thumped. He hoped it was a Diplodocus because they were vegetarian.

  The bushes rustled. Then something stepped into the clearing.

  “BERTIE! WHERE ARE YOU?”

  Bertie groaned. Not Angela again!

  “What do you want?” he cried, coming out from the bushes.

  “Found you!” cried Angela triumphantly. “Are we playing pirates?”

  “No!” said Bertie. “And don’t come any closer or you’ll fall in our trap.”

  Angela noticed the covered hole and crouched down to inspect it.

  “Oooh! Did you make it?” she asked.

  “Course we made it,” said Bertie. “And now you’ve seen it, you can go.”

  “I’m not going till you tell me what it’s for,” said Angela stubbornly.

  Bertie and his friends looked at each other. They knew that threatening Angela with spiders or slugs had no effect.

  Eugene sighed. “We’re hunting a dinosaur, okay?”

  Bertie rolled his eyes. Now they’d never get rid of her.

  “A dinosaur?” cried Angela.

  “Not so loud!” said Bertie. “We found one of its teeth so it’ll probably come back. Then we can catch it.”

  Angela shook her head. “You won’t,” she said matter-of-factly. “Not here.”

  “Yeah? How would you know?” demanded Darren.

  “I’ve seen it,” said Angela.

  “Seen it?” said Bertie. “You’ve seen an actual real dinosaur?”

  “Yes!” said Angela, beaming at them.

  “She’s making it up!” snorted Darren.

  “No, I’m not,” said Angela. “I’ll show you if you like. It’s not far.”

  CHAPTER 3

  They followed Angela out of the park and a little way down Bertie’s road. She stopped outside number twelve.

  “Here?” said Bertie.

  Mr Monk lived at number twelve and he was Bertie’s least favourite person. Mr Monk said Bertie’s parents should keep him locked up.

  Only last week he’d gone on and on about riding bikes on the pavement. And he was always grumbling about dog’s muck on the street as if Whiffer was responsible for all of it. He’d written to the local paper to complain. Twice.

  They all crouched down behind the hedge.

  “There!” said Angela, pointing to the top window. “See it?”

  They raised their heads and stared in amazement. There, peering out from behind the curtain, was a real dinosaur! It had green scales, jagged teeth and hungry eyes that watched the street.

  “A Tyrannosaurus!” gasped Bertie.

  “I told you,” said Angela triumphantly.

  “But what’s it doing there?” asked Eugene.

  “Maybe it broke in,” said Bertie. “Maybe it got hungry and ate Mr Monk.”

  “I don’t think so,” said Darren. “Here he comes.”

  They ducked down behind the hedge just in time. Mr Monk came marching down the street, carrying a bag. He turned into his drive and unlocked the door to go in.

  “Uh oh! Shouldn’t we warn him?” whispered Eugene.

  “It’s a bit late for that,” said Bertie.

  They waited for Mr Monk to come flying out of the door screaming with terror. Minutes passed – nothing happened.

  Bertie frowned. “You know what I think?” he said. “He’s keeping the dinosaur as a pet. I bet he’s training it to attack children – especially if they’re riding bikes on the pavement.”

  Angela tugged at his arm. “What shall we do?”

  “Capture it,” said Bertie. “We’ve still got our sticks and the net.”

  He didn’t see why Mr Monk should keep the dinosaur. After all, he was the one who’d found the tooth. And besides, it was cruel to keep a dinosaur indoors.

  Eugene gulped. “But shouldn’t we tell the police?”

  Bertie snorted. “The police? You think they’ll believe us?”

  The others shook their heads. It did sound hard to believe – a Tyrannosaurus living on Fleaman Drive.

  “It’s up to us,” said Bertie. “We’ve got to get in without old Monk seeing us. Angela, you’ll have to keep him busy at the door.”

  CHAPTER 4

  DING DONG!

  Angela reached up and rang Mr Monk’s doorbell. She glanced back at the others and winked with both eyes. That was the signal.

  “Quick! Let’s go!” said Bertie.

  They slipped through the side gate and crept round the back of the house. Mr Monk’s back door was open.

  Bertie grasped his stick. He couldn’t decide which would be scarier – facing a Tyrannosaurus or a hopping mad Mr Monk.

  “What if it eats one of us?” whispered Eugene, trembling.

  “Don’t worry, we’ll catch it in the net,” said Bertie. “If it grabs you, use your stick.”

  Darren and Eugene nodded. They followed Bertie in through the back door and tiptoed into the hall.

  Mr Monk was outside his front door, hunting for whoever had rung his bell.

  They sneaked up the stairs and paused – all was quiet on the landing. Bertie tiptoed over and peeped through the crack of a door.

  “It’s in there all right,” he whispered.

  “Couldn’t we come back when it’s asleep?” pleaded Eugene.

  Bertie shook his head. It was now or never. “I’ll count to three, then we charge,” he said. “One … two … THREE!”

  They burst into the room, yelling like savages. The dinosaur was looking out of the window with its back to them. They could see its long tail and scaly green head. Darren ran and threw the net. Then they attacked with their sticks.

  YARGH!

  CRACK!

  CRUMP!

  The dinosaur wobbled and toppled over. As it hit the floor, its head broke into pieces.

  Darren stepped back. “I think we killed it!” he panted.

  Bertie gasped. “It’s not dead! It’s a model – made of paper and stuff!”

  They had really done it this time. Suddenly the door burst open.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” growled Mr Monk.

  “Um … we can explain,” mumbled Bertie, backing away.

  Mr Monk caught sight of the dinosaur. “My Tyrannosaurus!” he howled. He sunk to his knees with a moan. “It took me weeks to make this! It was going on display in Pudsley Museum!”

  Bertie picked up a piece of green head. “Maybe you can glue it back together?” he said feebly.

  Mr Monk glared. His face had gone purple, his moustache twitched. “YOU … YOU VANDALS!” he snarled. “Wait till I get my hands on you!”

  Bertie didn’t wait. He fled down the stairs, with Darren and Eugene hot on his heels. Mr Monk chased them on to the street, where Angela was waiting.

  “RUN!” yelled Bertie. “RUN!”

  The three of them fled down the road, with Angela trying to catch up.

  “Wait! WAIT FOR ME!” she wailed.

  Eugene glanced over his shoulder. “He’s still coming!” he gasped.

  “Make for the park,” panted Bertie. “We can hide in the trees!”

  They dashed in through the gates and raced past the playground. Bertie plunged into the trees. He was running so fast, he forgot to look where he was going. Suddenly the ground gave way beneath him…

  CRASH!

  He landed in a hail of earth and branches. Seconds later Darren and Eugene fell on top of him.

  “OWWW! OOOF!”

  They sat up, struggling to untangle their arms and legs.

  “What happened?” groaned Eugene.

  “We’ve fallen in our trap!” cried Darren.

  They looked up.

  “I think we lost him,” panted Eugene.

  “Yes, but there’s just one problem,” said Bertie. “How are we going to get out?”

  They looked at each other. The hole was deeper than Bertie remembered.

  “ANG-ER-LA!” they yelled.

  A head appeared, smiling down at them.

  “Oh dear, are you stuck?” asked Angela.

  “Of course we’re stuck!” cried Bertie. “Help us out!”

  Angela glanced back over her shoulder. Mr Monk was coming their way. “Sorry,” she said. “I’m a bit busy right now…”

  CHAPTER 1

  Miss Boot stood in front of Class 3.

  “As you know, our Spring Fair is this Saturday,” she said. “Who’s remembered to bring something for the stalls?”

  Every hand went up – all except Bertie’s because he was picking his nose. Miss Boot went round collecting toys, books, games, knitted booties and pots of jam. Know-All Nick handed her a box of white hankies.

  “Thank you, Nicholas,” said Miss Boot. “Bertie, what have you brought?”

  “Uhh?” said Bertie.

  He fished in his pocket and brought out a toothbrush.

  “This is old,” said Miss Boot. “It’s been used.”

  “I know,” said Bertie. “That’s why I don’t want it.”

  A voice sang out from the back of the class. “Miss Boot! You haven’t asked me what I’ve brought!”

  Everyone turned round. Bertie rolled his eyes. Trust Royston Rich to butt in. Royston was the world’s biggest show-off. He’d probably brought in a signed photo of himself.

  Royston placed a large box on his desk. Everyone gasped. It was the biggest Easter egg they’d ever seen.

  Bertie stared at it, boggle-eyed. It was a whopper, bigger than a football … bigger even than Royston’s big head.

  “Splendid!” said Miss Boot, picking it up. “I think it’s almost too good for the sweet stall.”

  “It ought to be a prize, Miss,” said Donna.

  “Ooh yes, we could have a competition!” cried Know-All Nick. “You have to guess the weight and whoever’s closest wins the egg!”

  Miss Boot nodded. “Do you know, Nicholas, I think that’s a brilliant idea!”

  Nick glowed with pride. Obviously it was a brilliant idea because he had thought of it. Better still, it meant he could get his hands on all that yummy chocolate. He was bound to win the competition because he always came first at everything.

  At the back of the class, Bertie hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the egg. Imagine it, he thought, a chocolate egg so big you’d need a forklift truck to get it home. Whatever it took, he had to win – and no one was going to stop him. Not even Know-All Nick.

  By break time, word had spread round the whole school. Everyone was talking about the monster egg.

  “I’d eat a little bit every day,” said Eugene. “It would last for months.”

  “It’d probably go mouldy,” said Darren. “I’d eat it all in one day.”

  “I’d guzzle it in five minutes,” said Bertie. “And then I’d be sick.”

  “What makes you think you’d get the chance?” sneered a voice.

  Bertie swung round. It was that slimy sneak, Know-All Nick. He was always snooping on other people’s conversations.

 

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