Maybe someday, p.1
Maybe Someday, page 1
Maybe Someday
ADRIAN J. SMITH
Copyright © 2023 by Adrian J. Smith
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cover Design by Cath Grace Designs
Chapter One
Eternally dissatisfied with everything, especially myself.
The thought cycled through her mind on repeat as Chris pouted in the middle of the restaurant. What the hell was she doing with herself?
“Do you mind if we sit here?” The young brunette pointed at the two chairs next to Chris, her smile cute and her bright blue eyes wide.
Jarred from her deep thoughts, Chris glanced around her favorite restaurant in town. It was packed, and there was no other table in sight that was empty. Chris gripped her soda glass tightly, the cold seeping into her skin. She really probably shouldn’t. She’d come there that night to think about her future, evaluate where she wanted to go with her life now that she’d wasted away her retirement and would have to work until she croaked. Morose didn’t even begin to describe her mood.
But Chris was nice, and she couldn’t break that exterior persona she’d given herself for years, so she nodded. “Sure. It’s just me, so the rest of the table is open.”
“Thanks.” The young woman smiled and moved to sit on the far end of the six-person high top, the woman who was with the brunette mirrored her stance. “I didn’t realize it’d be so busy in here.”
Chris nodded toward the television screens. “It’s Friday, and it’s game night. This place fills up pretty quickly.” She’d gone there specifically because it would be busy. The background noise was something she was used to, and she craved being around people instead of on her own, where bad things could happen.
“Lucky you for getting here so early.” The woman smiled again, her eyes light as if the world of darkness hadn’t ever touched her soul. What might that feel like?
Chris wouldn’t call it luck getting a table. She’d come immediately from her AA meeting, refusing to go home because she needed to think, and thinking alone could lead to dangerous choices, especially with the mood she was in.
Taking the chance, since she was now stuck with new dinner companions, Chris extended her hand. “I’m Chris.”
“I’m Ash. This is my sister, Char.”
“Good to meet you.” A shiver ran through Chris at the touch of skin to skin. What was that? She hadn’t felt that in years. Not this intensely. When her hand slipped away, she missed the touch. No, that was stupid. How could she miss the touch of a stranger?
“You too! And thank you again for letting us sit here. I just moved to town, and we haven’t eaten since breakfast. We’re starving and need something after unpacking all day.”
“I need beer!” Char chimed in with a bit of an obnoxious giggle.
A waitress must have heard them because she came right over to take their drink orders. Ash didn’t get an alcoholic drink, which intrigued Chris. She’d never met a young person who was opposed to drinking, but there had to be a few out there.
“Where did you move from?” Chris asked, trying to make polite conversation. That and the opportunity for distraction from her dark thoughts was more than welcome.
“Seattle,” Ash answered, sending Chris an appraising look. Her gaze flittered all around Chris’ face and down to her chest before back to her eyes. “I wanted to be closer to family.”
Where Chris would expect Ash to look at her sister, she didn’t. She kept her gaze on Chris the entire time, a deep intensity behind those bright blue eyes. Did Ash just check her out? Refusing to tear her gaze away, Chris turned full bodied toward Ash. This woman, and her intensity, deserved some kind of attention. Something niggled in the back of Chris’ mind, something that pulled at the strings of her memories, but it never went beyond that. Still, it bugged her that she couldn’t place what that mental tugging was from.
“Sounds reasonable.” Chris had wanted to move here for the exact same reason. Her parents lived here, but now that her daughter was grown and out of the house, she’d been debating whether or not to move, to give herself some more space from her ex-wife and start fresh where she didn’t have the history of being an alcoholic. That, and her parents had moved to a warmer climate.
“Yeah. I missed you, too!” Char wrinkled her nose as she took a sip of her beer. “You were too holed up by yourself in Seattle. It wasn’t good for you.”
Well, that was the biggest reason for Chris not moving away. The thought of being alone with no friends around and without her support system scared the living shit out of her.
Ash frowned but said nothing as she took a sip of her soda. There was an awkward pause in the conversation while Char and Ash refused to say whatever the elephant was in the room. Chris wanted to prod it, but that was her protective instincts kicking in, and they didn’t have a place here.
“So what’s good to eat here?” Ash’s voice wobbled when she spoke, a sure sign that there was something deeper going on.
“Everything on the menu is good.” Chris shifted in her seat uncomfortably. What was that feeling in the pit of her stomach? She wished belatedly that she’d invited her best friend, Mel, to come along. Chris needed a buffer between them because the things she was feeling she definitely shouldn’t be feeling.
“That’s good to know.” Ash flashed Chris a grin, and Chris nearly melted into it.
Was Ash flirting? No, Chris was reading way too much into this one interaction. There was nothing going on between them, nothing more than two, well three—couldn’t forget Char—strangers sharing a table. Chris played with her napkin.
“I think this is the first time I’ve eaten out without my kids in years.” Ash seemed almost wistful.
“Probably,” Char commented. “We can fix that, though. There’s lots of single ladies in town.”
Chris perked up at that. Maybe she hadn’t mistaken Ash’s attention. Then again, no one would want to date or be with her. She’d been lucky enough to catch someone like her ex-wife, and while they’d been married seventeen years, eventually Andry had left her as well. Chris was too screwed up for love and relationships. But one night stands? That she could manage.
“Char…” Ash answered, her voice tense. “I’m not ready to date anyone just yet.”
“But you will be eventually.” Char winked. “In which case, I’ll be the best wing woman around.”
Ash snorted a laugh, shaking her head. Then she turned to Chris, that intense gaze back. “Do you have anyone like this?”
Chris couldn’t deny the question. “I do, actually. My best friend, Mel. Ever since she fell in love, she’s been harping on me to join her on that train. I’d much rather avoid anything to do with relationships.”
“Sounds like a woman after my own heart.” Ash’s lips pulled upward, curling perfectly.
Char choked on her beer. Ash shot her a dirty look.
Just what is going on here?
Ash was coming on pretty strong for someone who had just moved to town. Maybe she just enjoyed flirting. Chris had met plenty of people like that. Her ex-wife’s new fiancée was one of them. And while it took some adjusting to get used to it, they had seemed to find a nice balance of working together. Considering Chris had hired the fiancée to save Andry from getting in trouble for dating her employee, she was happy they all seemed to get along.
But whatever was happening tonight had to be something else. The food they’d ordered arrived together, which shouldn’t have surprised Chris. She always got the special treatment when she came here. She had taught the owner when he was in high school all those years ago. It was scary to think that some of the kids she’d taught had grown up and were already parents. It wouldn’t be long before she started to see her students’ kids in her current school, would it? She was surprised it hadn’t happened yet.
Her depressed mood deepened. She was old, broken, and had nothing to show for it. She was in the same spot she’d been when she started out teaching, for the most part. Single. Broke. Struggling. The only difference was she’d become a drunk and now she was sober. Oh, and that divorce in there, too.
Wrinkling her nose, Chris dug into her dinner.
She had screwed up her life so much that she’d spend the next twenty years just putting everything back together. If she was lucky enough to even accomplish that.
“Ash is ready to get a new start on life.” Char was already ordering a second drink. “She needs a break.”
“Shut up, Char,” Ash hissed.
Chris’ lips quirked up, a chuckle nearly bursting from her. “Aren’t sisters the best?”
“Do you have any?”
“One sister and one brother.” Chris winked. “I’m the middle child.”
Ash shook her head slowly. “I’m glad to be the youngest.”
“But the more responsible one?” Chris pointed at the drinks to make her point. She was genuinely curious why Ash wasn’t drinking, but she hadn’t gotten up the courage to ask.
Ash’s full lips parted before she finally looked Chris in the eye. “Some days, but not every day.” The wink at the end was what took the cake.
Chris’ heart went into overdrive, fluttering away at the blatant flirting. She would accept the flirting. It felt good to have attention on her even though she knew in the end she wasn’t worth it. That wa s the whole purpose of non-committed relationships. No one ever had to know that she was shattered into a million pieces that could never be put back together again.
Chris grinned, relaxing even more into the conversation. “Being responsible is boring sometimes.”
“True, but it keeps me out of trouble.” Ash reached over and set her hand on Chris’ briefly before moving back to her own space.
“Hey! I’m not trouble!” Char pouted, but she was about to break into a smile.
Ash shook her head, lips curled upward. “Sure you’re not. That’s why we’re eating dinner at nine at night with a stranger because you just had to deal with the yard before unpacking the house. Which also means that I have a whole lot more work to do tomorrow with the girls around.”
Chris chuckled. “My ex-wife would accuse me of the same thing. Always wanting to get the fun stuff done first.”
“That’d be Char,” Ash commented.
“And what about you? Do you always focus on the important things first?” Chris was fully engaged in the conversation now, forgetting why she’d originally gone out tonight.
“When I can.” Ash pressed her lips together thinly, her entire focus on Chris. Her blue eyes contained a depth that Chris knew she was only dipping her toe into.
Did that mean something? Ash reached out, a hand on Chris’ gently before retreating. That was the second time that happened. Chris flicked her gaze down to her fingers, still tingling from the touch.
“Are you a risk taker?” Ash asked, her tone light, but Chris could tell there was hidden meaning in the words.
“Some would call me that.” Chris was enjoying this a little too much, but having the attention of a younger woman on her felt so damn good. Maybe she was worth something, even if it was a tryst for a night. Not that a night together would ever happen. Ash hadn’t made any overt comments about anything like that.
“I can be, too.” Ash winked, moving her hand back to Chris’. This time, it stayed there.
Chris had to bite back a moan at the sensations floating through her. She would take whatever Ash was willing to give her tonight. The distraction, the flirting, the attention was everything she needed to avoid the intense life choices she was contemplating.
“Hey Chris.”
Chris shot her chin up, staring directly into the dark brown eyes of her ex-wife. Andry’s fiancée, Isla, clung to her arm, hands folded together, a subtle cringe on her face as if she really didn’t want to be here either.
“Andry,” Chris’ voice wavered. “Date night?”
“I see we were thinking the same thing.” Andry glanced toward Ash, curiously, and the assumption Andry had made didn’t go over Chris’ head. Did Andry really think that she was on a date tonight? “We have a table over there, but I just thought we’d say hi.”
Andry would do that, keep the tension and the awkwardness out of everything. She was so damn good at that. Chris envied it because she had been so weird around Andry since they’d separated. It had taken her years to figure out how to have a simple conversation that didn’t revolve around money or their daughter. But they had managed it recently, and Chris applauded herself for that. Maybe they could eventually become friends again without all the pain and hurt coming up.
“Enjoy your dinner,” Chris said, but her voice was tighter than she expected it to be, the pit of unease burrowing its way into her chest.
“You too.” Andry gave a broad smile as she turned.
Isla nodded her head toward Chris. “See you Monday.”
“See you, Isla.”
When Chris looked back at Ash, she realized belatedly that Ash hadn’t taken her hand off Chris’ during that entire interaction. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Chris squeaked out. “Andry is my ex-wife. We’ve been divorced about three years now. We’re all good.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Shaking her head, Chris reached across to Ash’s hand on hers and squeezed Ash’s fingers with her free hand. “Don’t be. It wasn’t that messy, and we’re both happier for it.”
“I guess that’s good.”
“How long were you married?” Char chimed in, her second beer already gone as she flagged down a waiter for another.
“Seventeen years,” Chris mumbled, dropping her gaze to Ash’s still clasped hand. She reluctantly released her, and while Ash let go of Chris’ fingers, she dropped her warm palm to Chris’ thigh.
“That’s a long time,” Ash stated.
“Yeah. We got married young. Actually we got married a week after I finished my bachelor’s degree.”
“Higher education is so sexy on a woman.” Ash’s cheeks burned pink.
Chris’ jaw dropped. That was definitely flirting. Covering Ash’s hand with her own, Chris laughed. “Wait until you find out that I got my masters and then my doctorate about ten years later.”
Ash’s lips parted, her eyebrows raised slightly as she looked directly into Chris’ eyes. “Are you trying to make something of this?”
“Only if you are.”
Char snorted and then cheered as another drink was brought to her.
“I think your sister is getting drunk.”
“She told me she would,” Ash whispered.
“Is that why you’re not drinking tonight?” There. Chris had finally asked the question. But when had she lowered her voice so it would be hard for Char to hear the conversation? And when had she leaned in like she was going to kiss Ash?
“It’s one of the reasons.” Ash moved in slightly.
Chris sucked in a sharp breath and pulled back. She was way in over her head. But the tingles running through her body, the warmth in her crotch, and the flutters in her belly told her that the attention Ash was giving her was exactly what she wanted.
Still, that niggling voice in the back of her head told her there was something she was missing throughout this entire interaction. It irked her that she couldn’t remember it, but that was an issue with her because of her alcoholism. She just couldn’t remember things the way she used to. But she really didn’t want to bring up those painful emotions when Ash’s hand was still on her thigh and inching higher.
“I think we’re about done,” Chris announced, waving the waitress down. “Can we have the check?”
“Are you splitting it?”
Ash looked down at her empty plate and then at Char who was halfway through her beer and her dinner was completely gone. Chris glanced at her. “Are you done?”
“Yes,” Ash answered confidently.
“One check, please.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“You just moved here. It’s my housewarming gift to you.” Chris couldn’t help but see Andry’s gaze on her from across the room. What on earth was going on with her tonight? She’d been handed a golden opportunity for distraction, and she’d taken it. But just how far could she make this distraction go?
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Chris smiled, covering Ash’s hand on her leg and curling their fingers together. She doubted it would go past this, but it was nice to think that someone might want to touch her again. Maybe she wasn’t as obviously screwed up as she thought. But when people got to know her, there was no denying it.
Once she had paid, and the three of them stood up, Chris gripped onto the back of the chair. What was she thinking? There was no way a woman years younger than her would be interested in her. Ash was merely trying to comfort her. She must be an empath or something.
Ash stepped close to Chris, but it was probably by accident. Sucking in a deep breath, Chris pushed in her chair and stopped short when she turned to find Andry standing right in front of her. Isla remained at the table, eyeing both of them.
“Chris.” Andry stood up and stepped in close. She grabbed Chris’ elbow, holding her in place. “Hold on a minute.”
Chris stayed still, confused. “What?”
Andry moved her mouth close to Chris’ ear, the heat from her breath fluttering across Chris’ neck. “I just want you to be happy. Please know that.”
The words echoed from what Chris had told her over a year ago, when Chris had agreed to hire Isla, when she’d finally let the water go under the bridge and stopped holding onto old grudges.
“Don’t hold yourself back from happiness.” Andry squeezed Chris’ arm and let go. “Give yourself permission to enjoy life again.”
